Using the songs in my iTunes library, I managed to create a playlist entitled "Story of My Life". It's not exactly accurate, but it does reflect the predominant atmosphere that's been serving as the nagging background of my humdrum post-undergraduate existence.
It feels as if I'm missing something, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps I already know what is missing, but it's being unconsciously blocked by grave denial.
Here's the playlist, before I wax philosophical (24-song playlist. This serves as warning).
1. 16 - Green Day
2. I Was There - Green Day
3. Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of - U2
4. Time - Hootie & The Blowfish
5. Wasting My Time - Default
6. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
7. It Sucks To Be Me - Avenue Q
8. Over My Head - Lit
9. Under Pressure - Queen
10. Burnout - Green Day
11. Landslide - Smashing Pumpkins
12. King of Pain - Sting
13. Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.
14. Regret - New Order
15. You Get What You Give - New Radicals
16. Long View - Green Day
17. Narcolepsy - Third Eye Blind
18. It's The End Of The World - R.E.M.
19. Looking For A Place to Land - Dakota Moon
20. Calling Out - Curt Smith
21. This Time Around - Hanson
22. Ordinary World - Duran Duran
23. Blue Sky - Hale
24. Walk On - U2
It is rather surprising to find four Green Day songs there, I'm supposed to be over those angst-y rants. Not that I'm angry, depressed, on drugs, suicidal or anything ... far from all that actually. Perhaps I could best describe it as feelings of melancholy, like a dark cloud hanging over, or a guillotine, waiting for the shit to hit the fan. I know it's coming, I just don't know when or what it is.
I have to figure out what this singular thing is. This "unnamed unknown thing" has been hovering over me for almost five years, if it were a human being it would be walking and talking now. Maybe I should go and ask what it wants...
And yes, what do you do with a BA in English (or a BS in Architecture)?
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footsac's journal